Wanted: Deity.....No Experience Required.....

Wanted: Deity....For Management of Small Planet and the Creatures Thereon.

Must have own tools and abilities.
Must be omnipotent and omniscient
Must be ineffable
Must have at least one character flaw that is readily misunderstood by subject worshippers.
Must be able to suffer scorn and ridicule without destroying subject worshippers.
Must have patience
Must be able to Work well and Play with Others

Some Experience helpful but not required.
Some on the job training available
May subcontract/create angels/demons/agents as you see fit.
Will be given a free hand/tentacle/claw/talon/fin to do as you see fit

The Universal Council of Light and Dark and Everything In-Between is seeking a self motivated, go getter, able to set own schedule and still get the job done. Dynamic, detail oriented, team player need only apply. Must have creature skills & be a quick learner. Incarnation preferable, but not required.

We are starting up a new eternity system and are seeking deities for the new planetary and star systems currently under construction. Duties can include the creation of physical attributes and laws of creation. The manifestation of variations on life and their subsequent self awareness and levels of being. This is an evolution optional position.

This is a psychically demanding opportunity for the right creator being with plenty of opportunity for advancement. If you are looking for the right position with unlimited growth potential, this just may be opportunity you were creating for.

Apply in person at: Universal Council of Light and Dark, 101 Creation Blvd, Downtown Universal Core. Please ask for Emily. References required.

The Universal Council of Light and Dark and Everything In-Between is an equal opportunity employer and is not subject to causal laws, trends or suppositions. We are a Timeline optional employer with a Universal track record. See our placement in The Universal Universe Register to see our impartial and outstanding rating. We give 3 millenium of paid sabbatical time, per eternity cycle plus Universal holiday pay for three thousad holy days of choice per millennium, plus full health, dental, and appendage coverage.

Apply today!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Coyote on June 12, 2009 at 5:02pm: As long as you're an equal opportunity employer! For I am a jealous god! :P; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lady Anastasia on June 12, 2009 at 5:20pm: hahaha, I am an experienced Creation Goddess and Priestess of Random... I think I'll fit right in; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vagabond on June 14, 2009 at 5:37am: "Must be able to Work well and Play with Others"

That would tend to rule me out ...lol; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Anne Martin on June 14, 2009 at 10:44am: Most exalted carnal goddess at your service!

"Must be able to suffer scorn and ridicule without destroying subject worshippers."

But I'm still allowed to punish them cruelly, right?

"Ineffability is concerned with ideas that cannot or should not be expressed in spoken words (or language in general), often being in the form of a taboo or incomprehensible term."

That's my middle name!

AND...I do parties and Bas mitzvahs. (I like "coming of age." You get to do some wonderful things.); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lady Anastasia on June 14, 2009 at 11:26am: Not necessarily.... Work well and PLAY WITH OTHERS.... I'm thinking the really smart cat playing with retarded mice.

Vagabond said:
"Must be able to Work well and Play with Others"

That would tend to rule me out ...lol; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Whitering on June 15, 2009 at 5:40am: This is good. It made me think about all the diverse belief systems being birthed out of people's disatifaction with the over load of belief systems that are already in existance.

So what's one more belief, with one more deity? So can we all just create our own perfect deity and then have deity wars, kind of like star wars and get to play with light sabers and have followers that wear body suits or other similar outfits?

I know one person who looked at all the belief systems and promptly declared himself god of the carrots...there are lots of vegies left so why not just make the deity god of the broccoli, or god of the turnips?
They make really good followers, they don't fight when they get sacrificed, they are at ground level until they get uprooted or cut off the plant they grow on, in short they are the perfect worshipers. :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Coyote on June 19, 2009 at 6:15pm: I know one person who looked at all the belief systems and promptly declared himself god of the carrots...there are lots of vegies left so why not just make the deity god of the broccoli, or god of the turnips?

Well, you can bet it's all happened before. I am sure that in older more superstitious times someone who could grow broccoli or turnips would have been well thought of within the community. Growing things where others may not be able who bring others to think divinity was at the very least on your side.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Whitering on June 21, 2009 at 7:25am: Yep. I'm sure it has. I'm sure if we set the way back machine on go, and we did get to take a look, we'd find all kinds stuff like that.
It makes me think that what ever we worship gets some kind of god attached to it. Which makes me wonder if humans are programed to be worshipers.

Coyote said:
I know one person who looked at all the belief systems and promptly declared himself god of the carrots...there are lots of vegies left so why not just make the deity god of the broccoli, or god of the turnips?

Well, you can bet it's all happened before. I am sure that in older more superstitious times someone who could grow broccoli or turnips would have been well thought of within the community. Growing things where others may not be able who bring others to think divinity was at the very least on your side.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Foxxy on July 13, 2009 at 12:17am: This reminds me of a Norse Myth class assignment: create a god/dess. The instructor's intent was to shake the predominately Abrahamic students out of their cages and make them think outside the (Abrahamic GOD) box in preparation for being introduced to the diversity of Norse Deity. One was required: The concept intrigued me enough I made three! Wonder if I still have them?

Emily, just wondering, has anyone applied?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Moonsmith on July 13, 2009 at 3:01pm: You know, amazingly....Emily says no one has actually applied...maybe our benefits package needs adjustment?

Foxxy said:
This reminds me of a Norse Myth class assignment: create a god/dess. The instructor's intent was to shake the predominately Abrahamic students out of their cages and make them think outside the (Abrahamic GOD) box in preparation for being introduced to the diversity of Norse Deity. One was required: The concept intrigued me enough I made three! Wonder if I still have them?

Emily, just wondering, has anyone applied?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Blackbird on July 29, 2009 at 6:35pm: Drug test required?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Moonsmith on July 29, 2009 at 9:30pm: No, not at all! LOL! When you can alter reality, who needs drugs?

Blackbird said:
Drug test required?; ▶ Reply to This